Mental Preparation

This is a graph I often see that illustrates how foreigners adapt to a new place over time. Most expats start off in a blissful, honeymoon stage for the first couple of months. Everything about their new home is amazing and new. But resentment starts to sets in after people can’t fully assimilate to the culture, have difficulty learning the language or making new friends. Now everything seems so complicated and they get frustrated. It’s not until 6 months after the move that expats come to terms with all the upsides and downsides of their new home.

However, this is what I envision my adjustment will be like:

I can pretty much guarantee things are going to be rough the first couple of months. We’re arriving during hottest month of the year (August) and will be stressing out about finding an apartment and registering the kids for school. Accomplishing these things will not be easy. We won’t have jobs in Taiwan so landlords might be hesitant renting to us. Similar to the US, school assignments usually come out in March. By August, a lot of schools will be full so we might not get a school of our choice. Then, the boys will have to get adjusted to a new school in a new country, but I know I am the one who will have the hardest time adjusting.

It’s also inevitable I will compare our life in Taipei to what we had in SF. I will long for the mild SF weather, our 5-minute commute to school, our friends, our neighborhood and of course, our family. I will miss how easy everything was for us back home, and question if we made the right choice everyday. I have to remember to be patient with myself.

Eventually though, we will find our rhythm and a community in Taipei (we’d have to!). We will learn to appreciate how wonderful this experience is and everything will be great until the newness of it all wears off. Then, life will feel normal again.

This isn’t me overthinking because throughout most changes in my life – whether it be starting grad school, changing jobs or having a baby – I go through these exact emotions. I start off being a Debbie Downer, but once I meet new friends and/or find my groove, I am happy. I just hope my “hostility” stage won’t last very long, and I’m able to enjoy our time in Taipei as long as possible.