Tag: change

Ramblings

By the Book

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Any time I want to explain a complicated topic to the boys, I turn to books. Children’s books have such a simple yet thoughtful way of communicating a message.

So as we got closer to moving, I looked for books about navigating between different cultures. I think I borrowed 10+ books from the library 😅 but these are a few of my favorites.

This Is Not My Home by Vivienne Chang and Eugenia Yoh

This book is perfectly fitting for our situation because the main character, Lily, also moves from US to Taiwan. Lily inevitably compares Taiwan to her home and nothing seems right. But she learns that this is her mother’s home and over time, Lily begins to accept it as her own too.


A New Home by Tania de Regil

A simple story of very few words, this book is about two kids moving to each other’s home country – US and Mexico. They both wonder if they’ll be able to enjoy the things they did at home, like playing in the park, buying snacks after school and watching concerts at night. But through side by side illustrations of life in their hometowns, we learn that we are not so different from each other after all.


The Invisible String by Patrice Karst and Joanne Lew-Vriethoff

This book isn’t about moving per se, but about the unbreakable bonds you develop with loved ones. The story starts off with two children having a hard time sleeping during a thunderstorm while their mom is in the next room. She tells them about the “invisible string” that connects them to her and all their loved ones, no matter how near or far. My hope is that C and O will understand that we are always connected to our family and friends back home.

Many people have asked how C and O are dealing with the change. They both acknowledge they will miss family and friends, but otherwise they are handling everything in stride. We gave away all their books (but supplemented them with new tablets), 80% of their toys – and yet, they just shrug it all off and move on to the next thing. I guess this is why people recommend moving when kids are still young. They are truly uncomplicated and resilient beings!

Ramblings

Goodbye Brings Hello

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Last week, we submitted notice that we won’t be returning to our school in the fall.

It’s a simple form, but I felt so conflicted filling it out. Even with our first year of kindergarten being completely virtual due to Covid, we found a wonderful, welcoming community at our school. I will miss seeing familiar friendly faces, soccer games and get-togethers, and the 5-minute walk to school.

Besides missing the obvious things like our school, family, and friends, I thought about all the “little” things I will miss about living in SF:

  • The oven: I LOVE to cook and bake with my oven. However, most Taiwan apartments don’t have ovens but maybe we can get a small convection oven as a compromise?
  • Food diversity: Taiwan has amazing food but I appreciate the variety of cuisines and ingredients in SF. Now that we’re only 1.5 months away from moving, I’ve been trying to cook and eat foods that will be hard to find in Taiwan (which includes Mexican, Indian and Southern fare).
  • Weather: I probably complained a little too much about the rain and cold this year but oh, I will yearn for the cool weather in SF when we have to face the typhoons and hot, humid weather in Taipei!
  • Neighborhood: While our 2-bedroom apartment is nothing to write home about, we love our neighborhood. Close to family, school, parks and grocery stores, the location is so convenient. I’ve heard that everything is incredibly convenient in Taipei so I’m not worried about that while we’re abroad. I just hope that we can find a place just as convenient when we return to the city.

As I get wistful about moving, it’s nice to find encouraging messages in unexpected places. One of those places is in a children’s book called Goodbye Brings Hello. I borrowed a ton of books about moving and dealing with change for C and O, but it turns out I may be the one who needs them most.

“There are many ways of letting go. With each goodbye, a new hello.”

This short but sweet book is about changes in life. It can be so difficult to say goodbye to the familiar. But the beauty is that when we say goodbye to something, we are often saying hello to something else. So as we say goodbye to our friends, school, oven, and neighborhood, we will say hello to many new things and experiences in Taiwan. And those hellos can be fabulous.

Ramblings

Mental Preparation

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This is a graph I often see that illustrates how foreigners adapt to a new place over time. Most expats start off in a blissful, honeymoon stage for the first couple of months. Everything about their new home is amazing and new. But resentment starts to sets in after people can’t fully assimilate to the culture, have difficulty learning the language or making new friends. Now everything seems so complicated and they get frustrated. It’s not until 6 months after the move that expats come to terms with all the upsides and downsides of their new home.

However, this is what I envision my adjustment will be like:

Apologize for my terrible graph-making skills 😅

I can pretty much guarantee things are going to be rough the first couple of months. We’re arriving during hottest month of the year (August) and will be stressing out about finding an apartment and registering the kids for school. Accomplishing these things will not be easy. We won’t have jobs in Taiwan so landlords might be hesitant renting to us. Similar to the US, school assignments usually come out in March. By August, a lot of schools will be full so we might not get a school of our choice. Then, the boys will have to get adjusted to a new school in a new country, but I know I am the one who will have the hardest time adjusting.

It’s also inevitable I will compare our life in Taipei to what we had in SF. I will long for the mild SF weather, our 5-minute commute to school, our friends, our neighborhood and of course, our family. I will miss how easy everything was for us back home, and question if we made the right choice everyday. I have to remember to be patient with myself.

Eventually though, we will find our rhythm and a community in Taipei (we’d have to!). We will learn to appreciate how wonderful this experience is and everything will be great until the newness of it all wears off. Then, life will feel normal again.

This isn’t me overthinking because throughout most changes in my life – whether it be starting grad school, changing jobs or having a baby – I go through these exact emotions. I start off being a Debbie Downer, but once I meet new friends and/or find my groove, I am happy. I just hope my “hostility” stage won’t last very long, and I’m able to enjoy our time in Taipei as long as possible.